DJ Dan

As I sit in my room, the sound of feet pounding down on the floor which is the cieling above my head to the beat of MC Hammer's Can't Touch This is music to my ears.

It's also a little unnerving as I have no guarantee that the floor isn't going to cave in over my head. Nevertheless it's a joy to be DJ-ing yet another dance party and this time one hosted at my house.

For some reason DJ-ing is just something I do and have always done. I'm not sure why, I guess because I like music combined with a semi-uncanny knack for remembering which songs work in a dancing environment and which don't, and then somehow collecting and organizing all of those songs in some discernible fashion.

I guess that's what a DJ does though. Anyway, I randomly got a job as a DJ at a roller skating rink when I was in High School and it's stuck ever since.

In that time I think I learned the essential secret to being a good DJ. It is as follows:

• Play music that people like
  

As an aside it's important I guess to point out two key caveats to the above cardinal rule in the context of the Dance Party:

• People like music that they are familiar with
  
• People like music that is fun to dance to (i.e. Danceable)
  

The former almost trumps the latter, if people know a song and are willing to accept it in a dancing context, this will almost override everything. For instance, one of the top Dance Hits of 2008 is Live Your Life by T.I. and Rihanna. I don't think it's the best song for dancing, but someone actually requested it last night and it went fine. You're almost always good if people know and like the song.

Regarding danceability, that can be a little more tricky. It takes some trial and error to figure out what really works out there and what doesn't. This is the continued plight of every good DJ, all whom are essentially working toward some sort of mystical "perfect four-hour playlist" that only contains danceable songs that everybody likes. I'll never completely understand why Dancing in the Moonlight by Van Morrison always works and Tainted Love by Soft Cell died with the early 90s, but that's just the way things are. The key is to always look for timeless songs, try to keep up with current music trends, and always save your playlists. As a result of tonight's activities I now have a pretty good 4 hour playlist. It's not the mythical perfect one that all us DJs seek, but it's a nice notch on the belt to know that I could probably walk into a club and "spin" for 4 hours and people would be decently pleased.

It's also important to keep your ears open to requests people make. Every once in a while someone will come along and ask for a new song that you somehow missed. Tonight it was Canned Heat by Jamiroquai. A huge hit that I missed over the years because I didn't like Napoleon Dynamite. What a score. That song alone will light up a dance floor like no other.

On the flip side, if you want to be a crappy DJ (like a lot of DJs are) you should follow the following guidelines

• Play songs that you think are really cool but nobody's really heard of
  
• Play songs off of Dance Albums – most are techno remixes that are frustrating to dance too. You need to use the original songs in most cases.
  
• Play songs that you really like – this is every DJs fatal weakness. You simply must resist that urge. If I played songs I liked at dance parties, it would be way too much Nelly Furtado, 80s techno-pop, and Latin music like Ricky Martin and Enrique Iglesias. Perdido Sin Ti actually made it onto my playlist tonight, but thankfully I resisted the urge to play it.
  
• Play slow songs. Unless you really are a Roller-Skating rink DJ and you have a couple-skate tradition, save the slow songs for the bedroom. They have no place on the dance floor. You gotta keep it up and busy all night long or people will bail.
  

If all else fails, just remember this: Michael Jackson, Will Smith, and Madonna. All three never fail.

So that's me on DJ-ing. It's a blast when everybody's pleased, and I think they will be tonight. Hopefully this is the first of a tradition of awesome Dance Parties at Fun City.

And so it goes, and everybody dances. I better get out of here, the next song is Kriss Cross' Jump, and I'm pretty sure the floor's caving in on that one.