No Coffee Make Dan go Crazy

  • Posted by dray
  • February 2, 2008

note: this is a rant. If you don't like rants, don't read this.

I think maybe I've already complained on this blog about the whole coffee shops never fill up my coffee thing on this blog. So sorry but I have to complain about it again.

Because I seriously end up thinking about this every single time I go for a coffee.

Now let me make some things clear.

First off I like by. Coffee black. Completely black. No sugar, no cream – none whatsoever. This means that I don't need any room for cream. Where I came from this didn't really seem to be too uncommon. In fact, I remember when I was younger I used to work on restaurants and we were instructed to ask customers when they ordered coffee if they would like it black so that we didn't waste the little cream and sugar packets if they didn't want them. Apparently in BC nobody drinks their coffee black because whenever I tell people that I drink it black they just look at me funny. Like really? Ok, well do you want to put some cream in your black coffee though?

Seriously? Really?

Hence whenever you order coffee here they fill it about two thirds full and hand it to you smiling as of they gave you some poo In a box for your Christmas present but they knew you'd be long gone before you figured it out and cursed at them under your breath.

And so they never fill your coffee. And the thing is i really like their coffee. I mean its not like I'm such a caffeine addict that I'm really happy about having to go pay a solid $2 for a cup of brew when I could make it for free at home (and I like me the coffee I make at home). When I show up at your coffee establishment, it's because dang it I want your coffee.

So when I drive halfway across town to to to jj bean (the best coffee) I'm really hoping to get that full cup. Why can't they take that as a compliment?

…at this point you're probably asking yourself the question, "Man why can't the guy just ask them for a full cup of coffee. I'm sure they'll oblige."

Well Mr. or Mrs. Smarty Pants maybe you wouldn't mind telling me the freaking magic word then.

Because no matter what I say my cup always comes back half empty, i.e.,

Figure 1 – coffee ordering phrases and typical result
ordering phrase result
"May I have a cup of coffee, black please?" Cup of coffee, 2/3 full
"Cup of coffee, no room (supposed starbucks terminology)" 2/3 of a cup of coffee
"May I have a cup of coffee, black, no room for cream?" Cup of coffee, 2/3 full
"May I have a cup of coffee and I don't need any room for cream" Again
"Cup of coffee, filler up!" Take a Guess.
"How about a cup of coffee and you can just fill it up, I don't take cream" 2/3 of a coffee
"Cup of medium coffee please, filled to brim" sometimes this gets me less than 2/3 of a cup

This always leaves me in the awkward position of having to ask the coffee person to go back and fill it up the rest of the way. You can imagine how hard it is to phrase that one without sounding like a petty spendthrift. I'm thinking of starting to say, "Listen, just give me a coffee, the whole damn coffee."

Advice? I really hope this isn't making me sound like a cranky old man…

DK

p.s. sorry about the grammar errors, I wrote this on the iphone in the coffee shop

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February 2nd, 2008
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Comment Number:
1
Written by:
Kate Pattison
Posted on:
February 3, 2008 at 9:18 am

I don’t know what to tell you Dan. The Starbucks standard is 1/4 inch from the lip of the cup, if they’re not doing that….well, I would encourage you to call 1-800-STARBUCKS. As for the others, you might just be SOL. Personally, I would find your favorite barista at each place, make friends, then share this site with them…maybe they’ll get it then. ??? Come to my shop, we’ll fill it so full you’ll be guaranteed to burn yourself.

Comment Number:
2
Written by:
dray
Posted on:
February 3, 2008 at 9:54 am

I”m just happy that somebody in authority replied. I need to be coddled in this delicate situation.

Comment Number:
3
Written by:
Debbie
Posted on:
May 14, 2008 at 1:28 pm

I have this problem too. I don’t know why they even bother to ask if you need room for cream, since they always leave it anyway. I have the best luck with “No, no room for cream, thanks. I need as much caffeine as possible, please fill it all the way to the top. I can handle it.” And if it comes up short I have no problem with asking them to take it back and fill it up.

As far as I can tell, the Starbucks standard in practice is about 1-1/2 inches from the top. I hate to think how much room they leave if you say you want room for cream. If they want to supply you with less coffee they should use smaller cups.

I have literally argued with one barista at a brew-by-the-cup place that I really did want them to run a couple more ounces of water through the grounds so cup would be more than 2/3 full. She eventually did it, but acted like I was stealing from them. I stopped going there, even though it is literally a few feet away from my office and otherwise they make pretty decent coffee (and it’s just as good even with that extra couple of ounces of water).

It’s hard to get to know baristas in this college town—there are a million of them and they come and go so quickly I swear I’m almost never waited on by the same person more than once.