the Unexpressed Advantage

There's a lot of speculation as to whether Will Smith, the greatest movie star of all time¹, is now turning to scientology because of his friendship with Tom Cruise² I know this is big news, because it's dominating my Google News Sidebar, even replacing the likes of She that shall never be named on this blog It's also bad news.

From the New York Daily News...

Will Smith has joined the ranks of Hollywood power players actively recruiting for the Church of Scientology.

Big stars traditionally distribute "wrap presents" to crew members after completing a film. His recent gift after wrapping next summer's comedy "Hancock" was a card good for a personality test at your local Scientology center.

I have a few problems with this "news":

Will Smith being described as "best buddies with Tom Cruise". I'm pretty sure that it's been well established that Will Smith is best buddies with Martin Lawrence from the Bad Boys movies. Martin is a cool, funny, violent Miami police officer and there's no way that Will would rather be friends with a washed up superspy like Tom Cruise

This Greatly hurts his chances to be president. I was pretty much guaranteeing my vote to Will Smith for the '12 election. After Hilary destroys our country and lets it be conquered by extremist foreign interestests/interstellar oxygen miners, I'm pretty sure that we're going to need a galactic experienced leader like WS to put things right. But even in that situation, nobody's going to vote for a Scientologist, cause they're just nuts.

I Really don't want to join Scientology. I really like being a Christian, but if WS does confirm his new religion, I'm going to have to make a hard choice between my favorite movie star and the 18 years I've already invested into my current religion.

And that's just scratching the surface. I don't really like posting gossip news, I'm pretty sure the purveyors of this new fad of tracking every celebrity's life day by day, which is becoming all to popular, are reserved for a special place in hell alongside child molestors, the inventors of spam, Rush Limbaugh, the Nazis, Tim Allen, and anyone who's ever published a picture of She that shall not be named on this blog, unless of course Scientology turns out to be true, in which case you and I are pretty much hosed.

1. I'm not sure if you knew that, so I included it [ƒ]
2. Who used to be a great actor, but is now better known as a freak of nature. [ƒ]